I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
