chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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