with your own penis?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
it hurts more in the daytime
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
