I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
