what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
