Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
