god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
