I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
