i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
