She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
