She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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