I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
