We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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