You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
