you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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