I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You were trust falling into bushes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
