I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
