Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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