currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He did a backflip because drugs
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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