i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize