And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
