I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize