I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
