I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
