I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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