There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
