mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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