Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize