GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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