ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
