do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize