I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
