I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
