At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My liver just had a heart attack.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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