real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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