This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
