he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
