Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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