He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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