took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize