I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
