I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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