Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
