in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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