wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
