He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The power of my boobs compel you
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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