I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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