she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
