I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this boner is exhausting
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
