I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
