Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize