You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
