its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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