grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
