I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
