I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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