So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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