It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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