Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
